"But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ." – The Little Prince
On the last day of mental health awareness month, I figured I’d chime in. Both as a therapist and a frequent client.
First off, a gentle reminder- you never have any idea of what someone else is going through OR what is going on inside someone. Most of my clients are high functioning. I’ve been high functioning since I was 7. And we still suffer. So please be kind.
You never know who is screaming in pain behind the smile.
Mental wellness, as I’ve come to witness and observe, is almost always more complicated than we think. Rarely, if ever, will 10 session be enough. There’s complex PTSD that runs through our nervous systems, individually and as a collective. There’s ancestral trauma. And simply the pain of living in an unconscious world. These rivers run deeper than the mind can see. More and more, I’m realizing that the work of psychotherapy (“in service to the soul”) is the work of healing wounds of generations, perhaps since our origin story misconstrued and then either removed or belittled the Feminine. We all still want our Mother.
(I also want acknowledge the increased recognition of animals as healers as an important part of the hope and effectiveness in current therapy.)
There’s also never been more hope. Mind-body therapies like IFS, somatics, and EMDR are proving effective in conjunction with talk therapy, CBT, and other forms of subconscious work. (I will never talk negatively about talk therapy- because is you trust your therapist and you form a connection with them- finally believing there is someone gives a sh*t about you- that’s fucking healing.) Of course, there’s also the reintroduction of psychedelics- not as party drugs (you do you), but as sacred medicine for healing. (I’ve tried both psilocybin and ketamine, KA-EMDR, to be specific, and are happy to chat more about both). Which also, maybe just as importantly, offers the return of women as priestesses, taking us back not just to ancient Greece but also to early Christianity.
I don’t know what is going to happen this year. We can assume it will be big, based on events that last time we were in the Year of the Fire Horse. But what I do KNOW is that we will see a rise of the feminine.
This doesn’t mean women will “take over”, but there will be a surge of women and the those of the LGBTQIA+ community taking on more leadership positions, as we are underrepresented in our current world dynamics, from politics to sports. And I’ll always be a feminist, at least until we all have equitable and equal standing. But what I really mean is a rise in feminine energy, feminine power.
It’s been repressed for too long. Perhaps back to the beginning. And with it will come a sacred rage. Anger at have been held down, assaulted, and minimized throughout history. But that anger is just the fuel for the fire- to burn down the structures that can no longer hold us. It’s not hate. It’s not geared toward singular people, but at the systems that enslave us.
Yet the sacred rage is just a small part of the feminine energy. There’s also a softness. The ability to forgive the unforgivable. Gratitude. Serenity. Even play. Most of all, the Love that can embrace and heal all.
When the feminine rise, she gathers all around. She doesn’t rise alone. She gathers, pulls out of the weeds. We all rise.
(A client of mine recently told me that “L” was put at the front of “LGBTQIA” to honor the lesbians who sat with and held the hands of so many people who had HIV/AIDs, making sure they felt loved.)
*** I’ve been in pain nearly my whole life. A playful, silly, mischievous, and creative child turned shy and soft spoken.
I developed an eating disorder by 7th grade. A way too numb what I was feeling. Everyone wanted to know why, what was wrong with me. I said I didn’t know. They assumed divorce. And while this is partially true (research shows that unaimable divorces, especially when the kids emotion’s are ignored, has a prominently negative affect on kids, even in shaping a child’s brain), my parents divorce was messy, this was only a small piece. I wasn’t allowed to have emotions. I needed to be tough. The critical voice of my mom and paternal grandmother became my own, amplified. I grew up in a church with no women as prominent leaders- in 8th grade, I was usually the sole girl wearing pants to school, as ugly as they were, just to make a point. But I was also ashamed of my breasts and my femininity. I was repressed. Of course I was in pain.
I gained weight so I could play basketball- and I’ve experienced episodes of anxiety and depression ever since. Like the doctors and my family, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Yet their question became my own, “What the fuck is wrong with me?”.
I knew I wanted to be great. But I always played it small. My inner critic made sure of that.Still, while I can be angry, I can’t blame my mom or grandma- or the other women in my life- for that. For them, playing it small, following the rules, and being tough is what kept them safe. It kept them alive. It kept them from being burned at the stake. Shunned from their communities. Cast away like Mary Magdalene for their wisdom and “gnosis”, who surely would have been persecuted after Jesus’ crucifixion had she not escaped to France.
The “freeze” survival response isn’t just a learned response… for many women, it kept them alive from rape and persecution. Hiding was safe. While ancestral trauma has deep energetic roots, who we know about genetics now is that it can also be passed down. There’s no shame in it. It kept us alive.
But now, being alive isn’t enough. Freedom is the only choice.
Yet the first step is not freedom from men that are, biologically, bigger than me. Men that hold earthly power, as I know my power I much greater.
The first step is… …releasing the trauma in my body that I’ve held not just for nearly 4 decades, but generations. To breathe deep into my belly. To shake. To cry. And remove myself from the critical voices of my my mind. To go back to living from the heart.
It’s not easy work. Anyone else on this path knows this. Has endured with me. Has fought to keep going. Thank the Divine.
Freedom, then, is from our own bondage, what used to keep us safe. The external, hopefully, will come for all women. But first, at least for me, it’s from the chains of my mind. Forgiving myself. Loving myself in a way only the feminine can.
Edith Ever said it most beautifully, “We cannot choose to have a life free of hurt. But we can choose to be free, to escape the past, no matter what befalls us, and to embrace the possible.”
And then, with the past not forgotten but the pain released…
It’s time to rise.
And the best thing about when the Feminine rises- She brings everyone else up with Her.
What I think is important for all of us to understand is the battle we are fighting isn’t out there, even if it appears to be. It’s inside of us. * *This is why the title of Steve Magness’s newest book Win the Inside Game is so brilliant.
This theme of dark and light, showcased in all our favorite books and movies: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, The Chronicles of Narnia…these battles are all happening within our minds. Our heads have always been the projector playing these movies onto the big screen of life. These battles may appear “out there”, but the war that really matters is within. Which is why I’ll add another book/movie favorite to the list, Alice and Wonderland, which I’ll write a bit more about in a few paragraphs.. We all, if we so choose, get to go on our own hero’s, or heroine’s journey.
Recently, I’ve heard a differentiation between the hero’s and heroine’s journey. From my perspective, they’re not that different, but manifest differently because of the female embodiment. At the essence of both, we are reclaiming the divine feminine. After all, isn’t this the whole point of Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code?* The woman reclaims herself** . The man learns to honor, to surrender to, the part of himself he rejected. Non-binary people are viewed with the utmost respect, having already harmonized themself in the two energies. We see the oppressor for what it is: fear. Fear and the stories our mind creates around the emotion. We hear the siren’s call (The Odyssey) but learn not to turn towards it. We fight not with weapons, but with our hearts. If fear is the opposite of love, it cannot remain standing in the face of Love’s light. *While I admittedly only read part of the book, this is also the point of Brian C. Maruresku’s historical research and book, The Immortality Key: The Secret History of the Religion with No Name. *Recommended read: The Girl Who Baptized Herself by Meggan Watterson
As we reclaim the divine feminine within- our inner knowing, our truth, our love- we watch as our inner dictators lose power. We know, and begin to understand, this ancient truth: “As within, so without.” “As above, so below.” (Hermetic Principle). “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” -John Milton, Paradise Lost. And of course, “The kingdom of God is within you.” – Jesus, The Bible (Luke 17:20-21) My guess is that you can see, if you’ve done any inner reflection, how the characters in your brain often seem to play out in the world. Donald Trump is no worse than my inner critic. I have dated too many guys with chauvinistic and covertly manipulative tendencies. Yet I also have my trusty sidekick and great love, my dog, by my side. I literally have an Obi-Wan who guides me (Reiki Master & Mindfulness Coach) and Galadriel (my therapist, with a touch of Ginny Weasley). (I swear, my Reiki teacher and therapist look just like these “fictional” characters). My own dad, who first gave me his old, dusty copy of Lord of the Rings before I entered the hospital for an eating disorder in 7th grade, possesses wizardry no short of Professor Dumbledore, or Gandolf, twinkle in eye and sense of humor in hand. Who are these characters in your own life?
As the battle reaches its peak, we see the contrast heighten: the female is repressed and shunned, called a liar or a witch. Darkness seems to grow as authoritative power seems to increase- in response to fear of being defeated. Again, this is the war within our own minds. And it is here that we must believe in our ability to conquer. Not with maleficence, for we need our minds, but with clear seeing, forgiveness, and love. This is also where most of us want to give up, to turn back. We question our worth and our abilities. While I rarely admit this out loud, I have said to Obi-Wan, “I don’t think I can win.” My own programming- my own darkness- felt too strong. We all ask ourselves, “Who am I?”. I think of the tiny hobbit, Frodo, trying to admit defeat, “I can’t do this, Sam.” Alice (Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carrol) doubting her ability to slay the Jabberwocky, the incessant inner critic of her mind*. But this is where our team comes in- love- the ghost of Harry’s parents as he duels Voldemort, Sam replying to Frodo, “..Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something… That there’s some good in this world.” It’s the call to my sister when I need help finding a better thought. My therapist letting me know how much I have grown. Obi-wan always seeing the best in me, when I only see the worst. And in the name of love (or doG), we say, “I am not afraid. I was born to do this.”, proclaiming like Joan of Arc, the brave heart warrior archetype we all possess, even though we may be shaking. *Not being able to ignore the synchronicities, which are, according to psychotherapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, and author, Carl Jung, signs you’re on the right path, I finally decided to go on a psilocybin/psychedelic journey- I was in the safety of therapist’s office and guided by friends. While I was hoping to give my Default Mode Network some help, a common experience for many “journeyers” (although perhaps slightly exaggerated in Michael Pollan’s otherwise informative book/documentary, How to Change Your Mind– admittedly, another half read for me) part of my message is that I still need to be the one to do it, to experience my own power. However, what I was shown was why I experience so much inner pain, a glimpse at some of my gifts, and a big nudge that I needed to trust myself enough to use them.
The journey, if we choose to say “yes’ to it, is hard. Arduous. We hope it lasts but a few hours, maybe days, growing wearing when it lasts for years. We’ll get bloody and grow weary. We’ll want to give up. Keep going. Look up at the night sky, and a shooting star will remind us a loved one is near. A friend, or perhaps a dog, will remind us that Love will never leave our side. And even if we die in the pursuit, in that Love, we will always find safety. That makes us brave. We may wander, but we are not lost. There is purpose to our journey. There is good, there is gold, there is doG worth fighting for. We realize that we are the Hero/ine of your story, even if just a mere human. And somehow, in that acceptance, we realize who we truly are.
We reclaim what we thought was stolen and burned, but was in fact, only hidden. We forgive our minds, because they were doing the best they could with what they perceived was gone. We embrace. We find the lost pages of Mary Magdalene’s gospel (I highly recommend Mary Magdalen Revealed by Meggan Waterson). We fill that hole, that void we’ve been trying to fill all our lives. Discovering that that too, Love, has always been within. We are Love, Herself.*
We come back Home.
*This, of course, is why the last Star Wars movie had to be women led.
****
Below is a channeled message. A good friend (“Obi-Wan”) has been gently encouraging me to share more of my gift of channeling, so here it is:
You are so loved. Your mind is trying hard to maintain power- it’s dictatorship.
You are bigger, you are stronger.
Keep going.
This is an opportunity for you to know your true power.
It is not the mistakes you make that matter, even if it was your mind (brain’s programming) that caused you to make them. It is how you talk to yourself after, how you love or judge yourself.
You are becoming Love. You are Love.
This is your battle to win.
Not through opposing dictatorship but through love, compassion, and forgiveness.
You win by clear seeing.
Dictatorship runs off of fear. Its voice is loud but you are stronger. You are more magnificent.
You have the power to lay down your weapons, knowing you cannot fight your mind into submission, and to see your oppressive voice for what it is: f.e.a.r. (false evidence appearing real).
You can love the fear, the scared child, back into wholeness, while quieting the siren’s call (turning away from the voices in your head).
The battle is within. To be fought with love and clear seeing.
By standing in your truth, firmly and defiance-
You (we) are Ray of Light.
*** (I thought this was worth sharing in full)
Frodo: “I can’t do this, Sam.”
Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness, and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it’ll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo…and it’s worth fighting for.”
My hardest battles have not been fought on a field or on the concrete blocks of life. My most hard-won battles have been the dark nights I lay in bed and endured the shrieks and cries of the demons taking residency in my mind. Their shameful shouts threatening my light…
The only way I find victory, or rather, transcendence, is by laying down my sword, putting all but my shield down. It’s not so much a battle as it is a refusal to take part. The demons continue to yell and shout, projecting their own fears onto me, repelled back by the Truth I still hold.
From the fierce love in my heart, I breathe a ring of fire around me. Around us. I watch the demons dance around the circle, on the other side of the flames, their shadows cast beyond the light. They can’t touch me here. Inside the flames, in the space of protection my heart created, I tend to the frightened and confused inner child within. Standing my ground, I take hold of her face with my pointer fingers gently pressed against her ears so she can’t hear the lies cast by the shadows. I look deep into her eyes, speaking without words, I let her know that she “is Good”. The only thing that matters is the love that bonds us. The only thing that matters is that we are together. She is fiercely loved, and that is the only protection she will ever need.
I look around and hear the demons now faint screams and watch as the shadows try to cling. I take a deep breath and exhale. The demons fade away on their own.
I am the Love Warrior.
You will never be alone.
In me, inside my flames, you will always be protected.
*********
I wrote this the morning after another battle, knowing the lies my mind were telling me and yet feeling all the intensity of my shadow self. Breathing my way to peace, while trying not to get caught in another round. This is the vision that came to me. And, with that, with these words, I have to pay homage to the other spiritual and Love Warriors that have influenced me, reminding me of this important archetype: Glennon Doyle (who wrote a book entitled “Love Warrior“. I tried to think of another title as not to mimic her work, but nothing better came to me) and Meggan Watterson (I was reading The Girl Who Baptized Herself at the time.)
Power is not found in proving your strength. It is not in believing you’re enough. It’s in knowing that you are Love.
***
In the past few weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to learn so much about myself, thanks to following my triggers, and the people who triggered them.
I remembered why I’m afraid to speak up.
I’m a woman. I was taught I’m not supposed to. I’m supposed to play it small, to be humble, to be meek. My place isn’t at the top.
No one spoke up for me.
I reflected on all my past relationships. Some were, blatantly, pretty bad (although never physically abusive). Although one of the bad ones was with a covert narcissist. (I’ve written about that before). Really, it was all so hidden to me, because I couldn’t see my own wounds. Yet finally I realized no one really supported me in my power. Whether it was politics, spirituality, or animal rights, I’d get shut down. There wasn’t a place for my beliefs. My unique view of the world wasn’t accepted, even though I would always at least consider theirs. So I wouldn’t exactly give in, I’d just shut up.
Of course there is strength in reserving your energy for yourself. My belief is, protect your energy about all else. Don’t just give it away to critical people or negative thoughts. But there’s a difference between protecting your energy and dimming your light.
My light, your light, my Love, was meant to shine.
If you feel like your own low beam, ask yourself the question, “Where did I learn to dim my light?” Heal that inner child wound. Be the one speaking up for him/her/them. Then go forth and shine, just as you were designed to do, because you are made of light.
You must be willing to let go of any stories you’ve read about Her. Drop any preconceived notions about who she was and supposed to be, and allow Her to show you exactly who She is.
Anything else, and She won’t feel “safe” enough to reveal Herself to you. She will never abandon you, but She will only go where She knows she is accepted, where She is free.
****
*”Safe”, I agree, is an interesting word choice, but it’s the best word that came to me. She, the Divine Feminine, the Divine Mother, the Goddess, doesn’t really have a “fuck you” attitude, but She is- in how She shows up for me- fierce and graceful. So it’s not so much that she needs protection, but She’s not going to move in places where there is resistance to Her. Or, personally, if my mind is lending to the fear stories in my mind, I can’t hear Her.
**A little celebration: I, or a version of me I am transforming, is extremely indecisive. Last night, I got flustered and frustrated when I couldn’t choose what route I wanted to ski. But I tapped into a state of “knowing” (really, just telling myself “I am someone who knows and doing a quick 3 second I’m just going to decide (thank you Gabby Bernstein) exercises this morning, and I made the decision that my mind less approved of because it was the easier route, but I heard HER, just over that fear. And somehow, amazingly, I got to the trail just before the city workers did, who were plowing the road for the next mile because it was melting fast and they wanted to give the ski mobiles a little more time, allowing them to part at the next trailhead. But the awesome city work let me park my car in the road (I drove up a bit to drop my gear off and Pacer’s Supergirl Sled before planning on hiking back up), closed the gate behind me, and we had Cottonwood Road ALL TO OURSELVES! I really couldn’t have planned that better. So thank you, Divine Feminine /my intuition.
(Written from the perspective of the Divine Mother archetype)
I love you. I appreciate you. I am grateful that you’re here. I love all of my sons, my sons turned turned husbands, turned fathers.
But I never wanted, never needed, you to fight for me. I love you too much to ask you to pick up a gun. I only wanted you to choose me. I only wanted you to vote for me.
I forgive you.
May you be released of your pain and any guilt or shame you may carry. I know you did not want to kill your brother, your sister, your father, or me, your mother. Anger and self-hate clouded your vision, and I know you could not see. Release your burden. I hold you in no blame. You are my son (my child) and for you, I only have love.
Your anger, it is sacred- but it must be processed. The pain beneath it, witnessed. Only then you can align yourself with love and take divinely- led action.
An ask for you…
Please forgive your earthly mother. I know she hurt you and denied you of her, a mother’s love. She was doing her best to survive in a world built by men, a world that said you must be turn and must not feel. Perceiving she had lost her power, she tried to reclaim what was remained by playing your father’s game. She gave you the little love she could when she was lost herself, deprived of the same love in which you craved.
Please forgive your father. He had to be distant in the absence of himself, for when we forget the feminine, we all suffer. Or, if he too, was angry, please forgive him… he too was acting out in his own grief, the loss of what he most desired: a mother’s love.
My child, you have been taught you were unworthy, the result of fear trying to erase me. But I am always here. I am always ready to hold you in my arms, ready to bring you back home to what has always been yours. Give me your sins, your fear, your wrong-doings, and your pain. I will take them from you and transmute them. I will return you to what is yours, but was never truly lost, only pushed away and forgotten. A mother’s love. Fierce and unconditional.
I love you, always.
Your Divine Mother
*****
We are living in a world where the Divine Feminine has been erased out of history books, including spiritual texts, texts that saw women in positions of power and leadership. Mary, mother of Jesus, is recognized in the bible for little more than her “purity” and birthing Jesus, excluding the fact that she herself was most likely a high priestess. Sexual creatures or not (minus the “not”), it is women that will always birth the light. Then we have Mary Magdalene, most likely Jesus’s most “beloved” disciple, possibly partner/wife, and high priestess, but whose role was greatly reduced in the hand-picked passages of the bible (in 1969, the Catholic Church admitted that it had “been mistaken” for calling Mary Magdalene a sex worker- although this version was still portrayed in the 90s while when I attended Catholic school.) Still, we must consider why the church repeatedly found it so important diminish, or make bad, the act of sex. These are just two of the well known examples in the “land of many.” But the point is… when we rob the world of the Divine Feminine, there will be no peace, we will not be whole. In Her removal of our story, many of us have not experienced divine, unconditional love, resulting in a split from ourSelves, Spirit and ego*. This separation is the source excruciating pain. In attempt to diminish this pain, the ego paradoxically turned on itself, further cementing its identity. And so, our first step into bringing Her back is realizing, no matter what (non) gender you are, She is within all of us, and we can all embody the Divine Mother archetype anytime we so choose… we just have to be willing to choose it.
(It would also be worth writing about the Divine Father, which I will defer here for length. What I can say is that the Divine Father being revealed will be a natural cause of the Divine Mother being remembered and accepted. These two divinities co-exist in union, and when one is hidden, the other is also turned into a shadow, hence why the shadow or “toxic” side of the masculine is now at the forefront of our world at large.)
*****
If you are a military veteran (whom I recognize as various genders), I 100% understand why you would feel defensive around this post. Without elongating my story, I imagine I would be too, being in your position. However, it is always worthy to question why we feel defensive when there is no real threat posed…I’m a 5’4″ psychotherapist who does not, and will not, own a gun. My mission is to preach (real) Love, which, along with the voices of others, will hopefully one day result in war no longer being a consideration as a way to handle conflict. My goal is to remind you that your are infinitely, profoundly, Loved.
It’s powerful to remember, to accept, that my soul came here for this exact moment in history.
Yes, but only partially, to be a light in the dark. Mainly, to help everyone else remember, we ARE the fucking light. We are love and light enshrouded in stardust.* We’re not here to banish the dark, but to say “I am stronger than you, and I will rise above.” And then we thank the dark, because without it, we wouldn’t know who we truly are.
If you’re reading this, I know your soul came to be here for this moment, too. Thank you. It feels so good that we are unified together, by what we are made of. Not the false, ridiculous , fear-based love that some church’s tried to drug us up on…but real love. True feminine love that has no place for hate, cruelty, misogyny… not even to those who deal out the devil’s (fear’s) cards. Feminine love embraces all, holding the potential to transmute any fear back into light.
This isn’t a battle to be fought with guns and armor made of fear, but with love and swords made of grace. And it’s fucking fierce.
And it feels good…like shattered glass, no doors, and wind that blows freely through. Only blue sky and sunshine to roam, birds flying by our side. It feels Free. .
*If you’re confused by the stardust theory, I highly recommend Michael A. Singer’s book, Living Untethered.
Well before Salem, women have been feared for their power. They have been called liars, labeled hysterical, and been accused of dark magic.
History repeats.
Isn’t it time we ask ourselves why we are afraid of women who stand in their power?
Why we conjure stories to diminish her gifts?
To come to any truth, we must go beyond collective believes and into the depths of the human psyche…
****
At its core, a woman’s power is her fierce love. Her ability to see through hate, deceit, illusion, and most of all, fear.
This is a love most of us have forgotten or been denied because of the separateness we’ve been sold. So instead of being faithful to Love we’ve been slaves to fear, power hungry or powerless, distant from the real power within. This is the Mother Wound, a wound so gaping yet unconscious in most of us that we do just about anything in attempt to fill it, unknowingly giving more of our power away to external forces that can never truly fill our perceived loss. Because of our pain, we turn on Her. Yet we are all Her. And so we deny ourselves what is within us, the Love that will fill us whole.
Remember, the feminine power is Her fierce love. There is nothing she cannot love. We can only resist it.
Why do we fear Her power? Because Her power can, and will, change the world.
The wild don’t have anxiety, believe in the fear-based thoughts the mind conjures, nor do they pay homage to the ego, have ties to achievement, or fears of not being enough, especially when following their heart, a path that might not lead to outward acclaim. The wild are true only to their souls.
At the same time, the wild are not reckless. They don’t egoically override fear to prove their superiority over it, which ultimately strengthens their ego identity. When making decisions, there’s no debate among the voices in their head, or even if there is, the wild can see them as fears. Instead, the wild use intuition. Their hearts are the only compass they need. They both love life and do not fear death. The wild care only about protecting the innocence of the inner child.
Guided by love and not fear, guided not by the mind but by the soul, the wild are free.
*This phrase was first said to me by Denise Mange, founder of Pet Prana, who is a pet trainer and animal communicator. She said this to me during a session with her after I said that I almost always worry about Pacer when we’re out adventuring. This made me realize that most of my fear voices, “Do we turn back? Do we keep going? Is Pacer happy?”, were mine and not Pacer’s. Pacer is happy just being outside (especially with her pack), and as always, will tell me when she wants to turn or slow down. It’s only the voices, or parts arguing in my head, that in the past would leave me confused. And truly, my fears and my general anxiety/hypervigilance around life have affected Pacer, who can pick up on my stress, causing her to be excessively protective of me. This obviously wasn’t good for her, and because I love Pacer more than anything in the world, forced me to look at myself. Really, Pacer was asking me to step into my own power, to start trusting myself and my intuition again (I’ve done quite a bit of parts work to unravel myself from the thoughts blocking me from my intuition), so we could both return to our wild nature.
A Dog and Her Girl 