Tag: healing

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Panic Attack: A Trapped Soul

I tremble.
I shake.
I scream.
I shatter.

Chest heaving.
Barely breathing.

I try to cling to the air
that always seems to escape my lungs
too soon. 

My mind races.
My heart leaps.

I press my hands to my center
to make sure that it is still there
beating inside
still keeping me alive

even if part of me wants to…

I continue to struggle.
I grasp at the oxygen barely trickling in. 

Inhale.
Exhale.

Rise.
Fall.

Crawl.

Slow.
Eyes closed.

Tears fall.
I wipe my cheeks and
the blurriness from my eyes.

I see a little clearer.
It was another nightmare, 
after all. 

*****

A panic attack is akin to the feeling of claustrophobia-
being trapped inside a coffin,
the soul suffocating inside the constraints, the cafe, of a fearful mind.
To the person experiencing a panic attack,
there is no way out. No escape.
The dirt piles on.
The only option is to surrender to exhaustion, or…
…to breathe so deeply into the center of your heart that the soul rises above the body, 
above the stories, above the pain. Back to truth.

****

While there is no single statistic, it is estimated that around 10-25% of people have experienced a panic attack in their life. I have. Many of my clients have.

So I write this to bring empathy. To bring understanding to the experience. Of feeling like you’re alive, but 6 feet under, with no chance of escape. 

And, while there IS an escape, or really, a path to freedom… it’s not a snap of the fingers, just be normal and get up kind of thing.

It’s gradual. It’s subtle. It’s a journey for the body that has experienced trauma, pain, and general unsafely to come back to a deeper knowing that, regardless what happens, all is well. To a foundation of love and security. A return to the soul.

Help and support can come in different ways.

If you’re a partner, a friend, or family member reading this, you can help someone regulate their nervous system simply taking your own deep breaths and not leaving their side (obviously, you get to have boundaries too!). 

A partner can hold their loved on, put a hand on their heart, and take slow deep breaths.

A friend can offer a hug, hold their friends hand, sit shoulder to shoulder, or simply be on the other end of the phone, not talking.

This is essentially mimicking what so many of us never had… a parent with their own, calm nervous system unconditionally loving us as infants, toddlers, kids, teens embracing us in our own big emotions. Not having this is the first trauma we experience.

Help take care of them while they rest. Cook for them. Clean their living space. Do the things that they could never ask for, because they don’t believe they deserve it. Personally speaking, I know I always needed that kind of rest that only love provides, but I was always fighting just to keep up with life. (Panic attacks are often linked with depression and/or anxiety. They are not contagious. They are not a disease. But yes, do treat your loved one with the same care as you would with a physical illness.)

If you’re alone… put a hand on your own heart. Do you’re best to let go of though (again- do your best, I know how hard it is) and slow down your breathing. You can also envision a loved one near you, and angel with their arms around your, or, my new favorite, the Divine Mother holding you…now, and as an infant, her simple touch reminding you of who you are. A spark of Light, a child of the Divine. 

I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention the healing power of animals and the simple soothing technique of slowly stroking their fur, or placing a hand on their heart center and breathing deeply, allowing their unconditional love to help you regulate. And of course, please seek professional guidance and allow someone to help you heal your wounds. 

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Sensitivity: An Expansion

I like to define sensitivity as being highly attuned to both the external world and one’s internal world, which includes feeling one’s experience of it.

And really, we are all sensitive. Science shows us that our brains and bodies are constantly getting information from our environment, more stimuli than they were designed to handle, hence why training our attention is so important, or our brain will always default to the (often) perceived threat. If we have an unprocessed emotion like fear, the mind will create a negative belief by connecting past memories and weaving them together in a story-like structure, all designed to keep us safe- and it probably did, as a kid. As an adult, that negative belief is most likely our cage. 

Furthermore, we all have thousands of thoughts per day! (I’m not going to get into the scientific debate on exactly how many.) Most of us walk around completely unaware of our thoughts, which allows our subconscious to control our day without us knowing. This is while practices like mindfulness mediation and a parts work, which can help us explore and uproot negative beliefs, are so important. But back to the point of this post…

We are all sensitive beings. It’s part of being human. Some of us are just more sensitive than others, perhaps because of childhood trauma, which causes a child to become either hyper or hypoaroused (hypersensitivity helps a child be alert to their surroundings as a safety mechanism while hyposensitivity would help a child numb any sensitivity, a useful survival mechanism if they can not control what is happening to them or around them.)* Or, we may be genetically, or perhaps energetically, more sensitive. Oftentimes, it’s both: a combination of childhood experiences and a personal attribute. 

*We could also describe hyper as anxiety or ADHD and hypo as depression. It’s also common to see the two together, experiencing both anxiety and depression. If you’re tracking and know a bit about psychology, you’re probably realizing that this could appear as a bipolar diagnosis as well. I also had a professor in graduate school, Duey Freeman, describe anxiety as asking the question “Is it safe to be me?” and depression as “It’s not safe to be me.” So, another possible way of looking at this is the anxious feeling is actually the true self wanting to be released, with depression continually coming in as protection saying, “No, it’s not safe for you in this world.”

A highly sensitive individual is HIGHLY attuned to their external environment and internal world and feels it all, deeply. They are not only computing other people’s tone and facial reactions, their own and others (including animals) emotions, thoughts, past experiences, and the energy around them, but also ancestral lineage, stories and unhealed pains that have interwoven themselves throughout times*, messages from the spirit world, and a deep desire to heal. 

*Here, I’ll include Carl Jung’s idea of the Collective Unconscious and Eckhart Tolle’s description of the universal Pain Body. 

At least in part, I believe this makes the case that the problem is not emotions or sensitivity, but living in an emotionally unintelligent world that resists emotions (energy) rather than embracing them. Embracing emotions means we’re allowing more energy into our body, increasing our power (energy), and opens our hearts to not only our own pain but the suffering of others-humans and animals alike- as well.

Most highly sensitive individuals have to learn how to numb in some way because not only is all the information overwhelming to the human brain and at times painful, but because it is tragically undervalued and undernourished. 

If you are an adult reading this and resonating with this message, your work now is to:
– Nourish yourself: Embrace and nurture (offer compassion) to all the emotions that you had to suppress as a child to fit into your family, friend groups, church, or society at large. This includes loving your protector parts that you don’t like (like a perfectionist part or inner judge) because it most likely formed when it was not safe for you to shine and be your true, confident, sensitive self. Once your hidden gifts (sensitivities often come with deep intuition, connection to spirit guides, or healing powers) start to emerge, nurture them too as if you were nurturing an infant. We can only grow into our gifts, and who we are truly meant to be, through love. 
-Value your gifts: This will take some bravery at first. You will doubt yourself and ask “Who am I to do this/be this/offer this?” Remember, those voices are just protector parts that you can offer compassion and safety as you move forward. (Go slow. If you overdo it, the protector parts won’t feel safe and cling on stronger.) Keep practicing. Keep going. Find other highly sensitive individuals who are stepping into their gifts too, and cheer each other on. The best thing about living in 2025 is knowing there are others out there to connect with. Personally, I most appreciate working with my therapist (a fellow Naropa Alumni) as well as my Reiki coach/friend, and energetically connecting with my dog. I’ve also been part of Lee Harris’ Portal Community and follow many other healers and intuitives like Sarah Landon and Gabi Kovalenko. You belong. You were meant to be right here, right now. 

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Howl

I’m not sure how many more times Pacer and I will get to hike this section, one of our favorites, on the Colorado Trail/Collegiate West…

The first time we hiked the Alpine Tunnel was with Sandi and Sage 10 years ago, just after we moved to Colorado. Then, 2 months later, we hiked through it again as we backpacked our way across the state. This year, we’ve been lucky enough to visit various parts of this trail 4 times, twice with Sandi and Sage (the best!). This time, I was just so grateful to have it all to ourselves, with Pacer getting to frolic and sniff freely while I watched, cried, and howled.



Crying and howling (howling feeling much more primal and alive in me than simply screaming) have almost become a staple of mine this year, bringing some relief to my grief and fear, while shadow/protector parts roared inside my head, parts that may have stayed more hidden in the dark if I didn’t have such intense love for a dog pouring through my veins. And as painful as these parts are, they needed to come to the light so I could see them.

As just a friend dreamed (visioned), Pacer is guiding me through and bringing me home, as I swirl through the darkness and play with various healing modalities, some that I never thought I would. I’ve gathered more humans on my team, and was almost overwhelmed as two of mentors, with tears in their eyes, told me how proud of me they were this week…not for doing well in sports or getting straight As, but for simply being me. Intuitive, sensitive, and weird.* It’s all be quite an adventure, really. 

And, while my mind wants to tell me how I messed things up or tell me where I should have been more perfect, underneath that, my heart is telling me it’s all been beautiful, too. It’s conscious, minute by minute choice, to drop allegiance to my mind and pledge allegiance to heart. Eventually, perhaps, my mind will become a faithful servant. Or perhaps it will be a continual process of observation- acknowledging the thought and accepting it without condition, while choosing my own way. Allowing my heart chakra to expand- holing the love, pain, and grief- the beauty of it all. Eventually knowing, even if only on my deathbed, it will all be alchemized back to its original source. 



Sometimes love doesn’t move mountains in the way we think it will. Sometimes it comes first as a roaring river, crushing us and bringing us to our knees. It cleanses us of our fear and false beliefs before rebuilding us, giving us a new foundation to stand on and an opportunity to become whole. We are gifted with a new chance to deepen our roots in the love that created us and the truth of who we are. We rise upward, connected and grounded, in a love that sets us free. 




beautypain #wanderlust #dogsofinstagram #spirituality #healing

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Try this: validate your shame.

You don’t need to agree with the voice to validate the emotion.

The “Emotions Wheel” has “ashamed” in the category of sadness. If I sit and feel into it, it’s fear, sadness, and anger combined. Then, there’s usually emotions under that, as the inner shamer is different from the part being shamed.

Honestly, the story you’re living in, the story that you’re broken or not enough, is really hard. And the shamer is just doing what it knows how to do.

We always do our best with the skills we have. If you dig into it just a bit, you’ll most likely realize that your inner shamer sounds a lot like one of your parents, enhanced by some other mean voices you’ve heard on TV.

The experiences and voices of others that gave birth to your inner shamer are most likely not from super memorable situations. It could be a small thing that felt really big and confusing in your little body.

For example, when I was a little kid and I said something “bad”, I would get my mouth washed out with soap. This might sound extreme now, or you might think, “why didn’t your parents just have your brush your teeth or use mouthwash?”, but this was fairly common in the 90s. Now, I was a really good little kid… and I was a kid. I can’t remember what I would have said, it just couldn’t have been that bad. But even if I said a swear word or was mean to one of my sisters, it’s because I didn’t have the skills to regulate my own emotions and the only thing I could to to release some of the anger or frustration or despair in my body was to let it out verbally. Again, I didn’t have any other tools, and this is probably what I saw others do. My parents too, were of course doing the best they could with the parenting and emotional skills they had. Unfortunately, that didn’t prevent my little mind from making up a story that when I mess up or have big emotions, that I’m bad*. Something is wrong with me. Which brings in a huge energy of fear, as I then question if I’m lovable. The story I further create is that I’m only lovable if I’m perfect. And in this fear, I strive to be perfect, but because I’m acting out of fear instead of love, I inevitably make “mistakes” (miss the mark) over and over again (and also, because I’m human). Because the only skill I learned was how to shame myself for making a mistake, I keep doing it over and over and over again. Until I learn about, and start practicing, self-compassion and Love, which my dog has been trying to teach me for over a decade.

*While I used a personal example, this is really how all our little brains work. This is called “egocentric”.

What we can start with is forgiveness. Forgive your shame for being so hard on you. It’s been doing the best it could with what it knows. Forgive yourself for anytime you missed the mark, because you were doing the best you could with the emotions and energy you had stuck inside of you. (We only do “bad” things if we feel bad inside.) And, half the time what you did was probably just fine, you put that “not good enough” story on top of it.

From there, you can practice self-compassion. Find compassion for the perfectionist, the achiever, and other critical parts of you that have been doing the best they could. Allow the inner child, the one that has been shamed, to feel all of his/her/their fear, confusion, frustration, and grief. (This will take time and most likely multiple therapy or journaling sessions.)

Then Love. This is less of a practice than going within and finding the Love within you that’s been buried. It might be breathing into your heart charge, or drawing on your dog’s beingness for inspiration. Ultimately, Love is your most natural state.

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Failure Wrapped in Love

A Path to Enlightenment

Failure may actually be one of the best and most efficient ways to get in alignment with the truest and highest versions of ourselves. A path to really living our best lives. …IF we can wrap failure in love.

The more mistakes we make, the more we learn how a choice or path isn’t for us, or we realize the way in which we are trying to get where want to be is out of whack (fear-based), and the more we have the opportunity to remember who we really are.

Which takes us to the blocks around failure. Shame (a topic I’ll talk more about how to work with soon) prevents us from evolving and seeing the failure, or simply the situation, with clarity. When we get lost in shame and stories of how we’re bad or not enough, we can be assured we’ve identified with our subconscious programming (small selves/ego) and NOT our Higher Selves. The irony is that the more we stay in shame (which believes we’ll make a better choice if we’re super mean to ourselves), the more likely we’ll take the take the wrong path again, make the same mistake, and fail again. (If the emotion is in you and still in the shadows, you probably won’t even know when you’re doing this.)

Yet, if we see failure through the lens of love, or rather, we love ourselves when we make a mistakes, we open ourselves up to new ideas, paths, and…to use a super spiritual word, EXPANSION. Loving energy helps us see new options and make more optimal choices (we’re past good or bad when we’re in this space).

Because we know we “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”, to quote Albert Einstein (a super spiritual dude and scientist), it’s not thinking about being kind to ourselves that’s going to get us out of this one. Which to me, is a relief, because my neural pathways are pretty set on how I really did screw things up. (Yes, I’m right here with you on this topic.) In addition to working with childhood memories on how our shame got its origins, what we can start doing is FEELING into the energy of compassion. Personally, I have no problem doing this with my sister, my dog, my dad, etc. Once I conjure up this feeling thinking of them, I can then PRACTICE (it is a practice) turning it towards myself. Try it our yourself.

I’ve got a lot more to say about shame coming up, when I have time to write more of my thoughts down. For now, here’s some food for thought and some compassion to feel into.

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Gifts of Evolution (Part Two): A New Reality

One thing that I didn’t mention in my previous post on considering that every experience in your life is happening for you, even the one you don’t necessarily like, is that in addition to rising from victim mentality to to hero of your story (thank you, Joseph Campbell, for first writing about the “Heroe’s Journey”.), you’re entering a new reality.

Before I explain further, I’d like to thank the YouTuber who left a mean comment on my last video- all my haters seem to always come from YouTube. (I don’t actually upload any videos individually to YouTube, it’s just connected to my Substack, but I use YouTube often to listen to podcasts. Because I’m practicing becoming the focus of my attention (subject) rather than the outside world (object), I just turned off all my YouTube notifications. Look up Dr. Sue Morter if you’re interested in learning more about her “subject-object-subject” practice). I’ll return to the YouTuber and his (or the bots?) role in my evolution shortly. 

What I’m going to attempt to do for you here is explain 3D to 4D & 5D reality super simply, as it’s taken me years to understand it. 

If we take a situation and simply tell it as it is, the story, or plot, is pretty flat. “I have been injured.” What most of us do, from the place of victim mentality (which arises from unprocessed fear), is say “I’m so frustrated I’m injured. This is sucks.” While it is important to honor our emotions, the thing that keeps us stuck are beliefs such as “This is bad.” “Bad things always happen to me.” “I have no control over this.” And, while it is true that you might not be able to magically heal from the injury overnight, what you DO have the ability to shift is your perspective over what happened (in this example, the injury). This doesn’t mean you have to know why right away, but simply holding on to the belief that there is something for you in it can return you to a place of power, and perhaps paradoxically, actually support your healing. (Honestly, I don’t care if you believe everything happens for a reason or that you can simply choose to give any circumstance meaning…both are way more empowering then playing victim and labeling what happens as a negative experience.) 

With that understanding, you can now create a new story around the plot. It might start with, “I’m injured. And part of me feels sad about it, but I also know that there is something for me here to support my growth.” Later, it might turn into, “As much as I didn’t want to be injured, it really helped me pause and go inward. I have more peace in my life now, because I learned how to create it within me, than I ever did before. I’m actually glad I got injured.”

Realizing this post is getting long and I have work to do, I’m not fully going to differentiate 4D and 5D reality (in truth, I’m also still trying to fully understand it) and because I wanted to get to the YouTuber story. The short version is that 4D reality says, “I don’t like my current reality, and I can DO things to change it”. 5D reality says “I don’t like my current reality. I can shift my inner experience (emotions) to BECOME a higher version of me, and ALLOW a new physical reality come to me.

Okay, one more short story. So let’s say I’m the hero of my story. I decided I’m the main Player in the video game called Life. When the YouTuber/Villian writes a mean comment, I first allow myself to feel and heal some of the emotions from my old victim programming. Then, I realize that the Negative Ned YouTuber/Villian is just another challenge for me to get to the next level. I realize he can 1) support me in my aforementioned) healing and 2) is trying to throw darkness my way so I continue to dim my light at stay at the level I’m at, 3D reality. Having been at the level so many times, continuing to fail and calling on another life, my soul, or Player is finally evolved enough to see another path. Actually, I realized the YouTuber isn’t an enemy I’m trying to fight off. He’s actually trying to support me in my journey and challenging me to NOT dim my light this time. With my light now actually brighter, I decided to share what I learned with other Players (You), so we can all start moving to the next level, or reality, together. 

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Power

Power is not found in proving your strength.
It is not in believing you’re enough.
It’s in knowing that you are Love.

***

In the past few weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to learn so much about myself, thanks to following my triggers, and the people who triggered them.

I remembered why I’m afraid to speak up.

I’m a woman. I was taught I’m not supposed to. I’m supposed to play it small, to be humble, to be meek. My place isn’t at the top.

No one spoke up for me.

I reflected on all my past relationships. Some were, blatantly, pretty bad (although never physically abusive). Although one of the bad ones was with a covert narcissist. (I’ve written about that before). Really, it was all so hidden to me, because I couldn’t see my own wounds. Yet finally I realized no one really supported me in my power. Whether it was politics, spirituality, or animal rights, I’d get shut down. There wasn’t a place for my beliefs. My unique view of the world wasn’t accepted, even though I would always at least consider theirs. So I wouldn’t exactly give in, I’d just shut up.

Of course there is strength in reserving your energy for yourself. My belief is, protect your energy about all else. Don’t just give it away to critical people or negative thoughts. But there’s a difference between protecting your energy and dimming your light.

My light, your light, my Love, was meant to shine.

If you feel like your own low beam, ask yourself the question, “Where did I learn to dim my light?” Heal that inner child wound. Be the one speaking up for him/her/them. Then go forth and shine, just as you were designed to do, because you are made of light.

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Unravel

Healing isn’t found in the past, but in unraveling from it.

Some people give therapists bad raps for “just talking to people about their problems”. And I’m like “whoa, that’s not my job description.” But honestly… it is part of it, for a very good reason: Some people have never had a safe place to talk and experience their emotions, so just letting them talk and feel lets them know they’re okay, they’re safe, and just that can be healing.

And then the unraveling begins.

I‘ll just say a bit on this for now: You’re not who you think you are. (Take that Descartes). You’re identity (unless you’ve already unraveled) is a configuration of all your thoughts and beliefs and emotions experienced (or suppressed) from throughout your life time, but mainly, BEFORE THE AGE OF 8. Which means most of it’s subconscious (just below the surface of your awareness), especially as much of what you learned came from what you saw, what you felt, and the stories you created from it. And unless you were held and loved the majority of time you experienced big emotions, those stories probably aren’t good.

That sounds like a lot, I know. Breathe. (No seriously, breathe. Full belly breaths. It’s one of the best things you can do to heal your nervous system, which is probably out of whack from all those fear/not enough stories you’ve been telling yourself.)

The good news is, you can unravel. You can be free!

And your triggers (whatever sets off a big emotional response, or even depression can be a start) can get you there.

Here’s my basic process:

-Identify the trigger.

-Name the emotion (if possible) and BrEathe with it. This creates some safety.

-See if any past memory “floats” up. (To use EMDR phrasing)

– What was the story little you came up with to make sense of what was happening?
(ie. Dad is never home and doesn’t want to spend time with me. I must be unlovable.)

-Drop the story, and once again just BrEathe with the emotion. What does little you need?

-What’s a new story, one that you’d prefer to believe? (This is where you get to create!)

Last, remember the healing path is non-linear- it’s The Wanderlust Path- and it’s OKAY that it doesn’t come all at once. You’ll probably have to do this many times. But that’s okay, because you’re worth it.

As always, only if it feels good and empowering: https://buymeacoffee.com/raynypaver/unravel

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If You’re on a Non-Linear Path, You’re on the Right Path

The path to healing, growth, and evolution isn’t linear. It’s not something to get frustrated about (but do honor your emotions). These obstacles and road bumps (different from roadblocks and closed doors) are actually signs YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH!

In fact, we know that obstacles and challenges are not only what make us stronger, but bring us closer to our true, most awesome (and authentic), selves.

Accepting this truth, that challenges are signs we’re on the right path, can keep us from getting stuck. It’s when we judge ourselves, “Why am I here again? I thought I healed this!” that we’re resisting the lesson and blocks us from 1) the opportunity to apply what we learned the last time and 2) prevents us from being curious*, “Hmm, why is this happening again?” “Why is this repeating?” “What do I have to learn here?” “How can I love myself more?”

* Curiosity is different from “trying to figure everything out”, which has more of a fear energy. Oh, self-judgement will never get you to healing, either!

This idea, that the path to healing and growth often happens in loops and includes challenges, can be applied to athletes too.

When I work with athletes who get injured, they usually end up working with a PT, commit to correcting poor form, or to consistently performing exercises that target underused muscles. When that athlete comes back, they’re not only physically stronger, but more mentally resilient for having gone through the challenge. There’s a new belief, a new resilience in them that says, “I can move through challenges and not only be okay, but be closer to that highest version of myself.”

A slight reframe: The path to healing and self-evolution is really the journey of transformation. Usually, we metaphorically think of this as​ the process of being a caterpillar to​ becoming a butterfly​*: First, we are a caterpillar. Then, we wrap ourselves inside a cocoon. Third, we become MUSH, obsolete. From the mush, we transform into butterflies. But in order to REALLy be a butterfly, we have to fight our way out of the cocoon. 

​*The caterpillar and butterfly share the same DNA, but the genes are expressed differently. That, in itself, is metaphorical. Article Link

But what I really see for most people is little transformations inside a BIG transformation. Maybe we go through a small transformation in a few months or 1 year period, but then in 7* years, BOOM! We’re this new, amazing being flying high and living our best lives. (In other words, don’t give up. You’re right where you’re meant to be.)

*On AVERAGE, our body’s cells renew every 7 to 10 years. However, some cells are replaced every few days, and others take 70 years. Article Link

…And then there’s probably another evolution, but this time it’s easier because we’ve done it before and this higher version of ourselves knows that THIS IS A SIGN WE’RE ON THE RIGHT PATH.

As always, only if it feels empowering: https://buymeacoffee.com/raynypaver

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On Fear: How Not to Be Free

Fear is a memory stored in our cells. A memory from the past where we were left alone with big emotions and no one supportive caregiver to help us process the experience. Someone to give us safety and Love, or rather, find safety in Love. 

Fear is what keeps us from our true selves. 

It is NOT overcoming all the things that scare you. It IS facing the voices in your head and the emotions that once felt too big to feel. 

Fear is what prevents you from your potential. Not your potential to achieve and be “great”… for that need for achievement to be seen as “enough” is exactly the voice we have to examine. 

Fear is what blocks you from your fullest expression. From being all the Love that is within you, from loving every moment of life, every being on earth, and from truly loving yourself… not for “doing”, but now, exactly as you are 

It is by releasing this fear (perhaps by examining each trigger and every way you protect yourself from feeling pain and feeling Love… there is more than one path, this was simply mine) that you can come to know who you truly are and what you came here to do.

It is in this place that we recognize that healing begins in the mind, by unlearning past stories, and recognizing that Love is all that exists. Fear is just a story that is repeatedly retold and projected upon. 

We can heal together.

We are not meant to do everything on our own. We’re here with others so we can support one another. Only the ego tells us we have to do it alone, for that is what it learned to survive… when our child selves had needs of love and connection that went unmet.

Emotions are not meant to be felt in isolation, though you may begin with accessing the Love within you to alchemize the fear of the past. 

At the core, there is only hurt (confusion) and sadness from feeling separate. All other emotions stem from those.* Fear is that we can never reconnect. To avoid the helplessness of confusion, we tell ourselves stories of “not enoughness”. 

*This essay is mainly channeled, with a few edits. I’ve got to think about this one a bit more, but I think it’s right. 

Shame is the fear, the belief, you are not enough, that you are bad, that you have done something wrong. You’re damaged goods. This is the fear of the ego, the energy that feeds it. 

Shame is a lie, as are more of the stories we tell ourselves. To do something “worthy” is just an act of trying to feel connected to something greater than ourselves, but the type of worthiness based on doing belongs to a false god. 

Again, you have always belonged, you have always been enough. Our fear is that we don’t, that we aren’t, and this is how fear drives us. It drives us to be better, to do better, and pushes the lie. 

In order to break the lie, you have to stop doing and start remembering, breaking free from the darkness and recognizing the light.

You have to believe in Love and the truth of your own divinity so much that you stop acting in a way that tries to prove your worth because that only strengthens what is untrue. 

Remember who you are in stillness. Remember who you are in loving everyone you come to meet. If they respond in anger, they have simply forgotten who they are and use anger to cover up the despair. 

Love more. Love is the only healing salve.

We all need to stop and unravel ourselves from the identity of doers, which enforces the ego. We have to stop and be in the stillness, to be here now. To hear the voice of Love that comes with no conditions but pure acceptance. 

We are Love. You are Love. Return to it by remembering. Then move how Love flows. 

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