The Love That Wasn’t Meant to Be

[When my parent’s divorced, sometime around when I was 8 years old, I could never understand how two people could have once said they love each other, and then not have it work out. To make sense of it, my young brain said “love isn’t real.” As an adult, you can only avoid it, love, for so long. As much as I tried. Now, I’ve realized, part of my growth understanding what my parents could never explain to me. And it fucking hurts.]

I miss you
I love you

I wanted to text
At least 5 times last night

Better to feel all of it now
Rather than prolong it
I finally decided

But maybe, maybe
We could wait until we start to fight
You’re wrong, I’m right
Then maybe this would hurt less

We’ve already been through this
Once
Twice
Now three times

Each time
The pain intensified

Anger
Why did you have to touch me again?
Why did you have to comfort me as I cried?

The tightness in my throat, choking
The sadness rising
Until the release
I’m still waiting it for it to stop.

Old wounds
Awakened inside of me
Of love not lost
Simply just not to be

I never understood
Now just feels so unfair
So cruel

To love you so much and know
That we’re not meant to be.

2 Replies to “The Love That Wasn’t Meant to Be”

  1. Hey Ray!

    It’s Shannon Sharma and I went to LEC with you and Sandi. I’ve often looked at the photos of the beautiful mountains and hikes that you post on social media, and enjoy your posts/writing. I just wanted to reach out and let you know that your post is often a bright moment during my day. I love the realness and emotions you put in your poems and your writings in general, and share in the feeling I get when I’m reading these posts. I just want to thank you and reach out. I hope you’re doing well, and staying happy and healthy!

    Thank you! Warmly, Shannon

    On Fri, Oct 15, 2021 at 11:12 PM A Dog and Her Girl wrote:

    > Ray of Sunshine posted: ” [When my parent’s divorced, sometime around when > I was 8 years old, I could never understand how two people could have once > said they love each other, and then not have it work out. To make sense of > it, my young brain said “love isn’t real.” As an ” >

    Liked by 1 person

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